Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
