Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
