just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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