Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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