I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
