You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
