I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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