u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
