I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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