Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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