If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
