I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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