i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize