i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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