Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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