I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
