Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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