White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
