I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
