i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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