idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
My ATM looks so different sober.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
