you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
