wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
