I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
