Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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