Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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