I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
