This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
