Redeem this text for a blowjob
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
