I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
