you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
