similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
