She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
