I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
