dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
