your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
