New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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