Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
