I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
