you traded sex for a burrito?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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