her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
