She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
