the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
