Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
