Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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