she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
