How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
