drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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