This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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