I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
