it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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